I lie on the table, totally naked under a small, thin towel. His strong hands rest first on my knees, then run smoothly up my legs, gently massaging my thighs. Long firm strokes reach up, up and under the towel, his fingers slipping between my legs… It was wrong, but so, so right.
No, that wasn’t actually how the casting went, merely a cheeky fantasy running through my mind as I lay on the casting couch making comfortable small talk about the artwork and Jamie’s plans. Hitched up on my elbows, naked from the waist down, I looked through my legs at Jamie, pottering around his studio a few feet from me. The mound of blue goo setting on my pussy feeling warm and strangely protecting.
‘So why did you decide to get cast?’ asked Jamie. The strange thing is, this was the first time I’d actually considered this. The opportunity came up, so I took it. Why? Hmm…
‘Er, midlife crisis maybe.’ I found myself saying.
Having had a baby less than a year before, I was still reeling from many of the physical changes to my body – changes that no diet or exercise regime could reverse. The inevitable effects of childbirth and age awoke in me a sense of time passing, of urgency, a seize-the-day sensation that a younger me had let pass by. Earlier in the year, I had harnessed this newfound determination and volunteered to be photographed for some graphic, daring, but beautiful fetish images. I came away feeling fantastic, hungry for more challenges.
I hadn’t given my vagina much consideration before I realised childbirth had changed it. The neatness and symmetry I had taken for granted now seemed twisted and alien. I suppose the casting was about reclaiming my self-confidence, accepting the inevitability of change and capturing a moment in time.
By setting my vagina in stone (as it were), I am celebrating it as it is, changed it’s true, but still beautiful and still mine – important enough to be immortalised in a part of art history, but no more or less important than any of the other hundreds of casts it will sit beside.
My vagina, in China? Now there’s a thought…